Bad Ideas: Writing prompts for spring

Ironically, right after Kait published her article about not getting burnt out, I burnt out.

I had this HUGE burst of creative energy and made a bunch of stuff and then I was suddenly drowning in this pile of work I gave myself and was left with zero desire to not drown.

It's #ariesseason now, so whether it's because I've had some real R&R or the stars have finally fucking aligned for me, I'm back to my usual full-speed-ahead-50-texts-at-once-why-are-you-here-get-out-of-mY-DAMN-WAY self.

Below are some writing prompts, derived from the random useless trash garbage I've written in an attempt to get out of my pre-spring slump.

Please know this is an article solely to prove to myself that I'VE STILL GOT IT. Are you gonna use any of these for fun? Let us know either by email or on Twitter :')

Writing Prompts for Spring 2017

If Keanu Reeves was a gun-shy, undercover CIA agent and Rihanna was a physically aggressive psychic lesbian club owner, Willem DeFoe would be...

Things I put on my credit card and forgot about:

I'm not jealous of your fucking engagement shoots, I just think that money is better spent on...

Pregnant dogs should ALWAYS have maternity photo shoots. Here's why:

I tried to silence the baby by breaking dried chicken bones, but I could not get...

Stop by the riverbank. You have never been here before. I remember when you were a...

9 things I have no chill about

Are you kidding me? $5 for a chai tea latte - and it's not even from a syrup...

My brother might listen to the podcast I was on, and surely my dad will think...

"What even is your job?" I asked my boss. She looked up from her phone...

No one will ever want to contribute to anything you do, because you always...

I LOVE MY FACE EVEN THOUGH I HAVE ACNE BECAUSE IT'S...

One day, I will write about...