I check my phone first thing in the morning and it doesn't ruin anything

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The evolution of my morning routines could basically sum up my relationship with self-care through the years:

In high school, I made a point to conduct my mornings around control. In University, it was adrenaline. When I moved out and started working full time, it was a feeling of freedom. Now, in my Saturn return, I crave ease. And I’m over trying with "morning routines."

So here's mine: I wake up, I check my phone. I stretch maybe, like a couple stretches. Make my bed. I drink water. I eat yogurt and granola. If I have time, I make tea. I'll listen to a podcast on the streetcar. That’s it, and it’s good. It’s inconsequential. It took a lot of unlearning to get here, to a place I can have a genuinely supportive (read: normal) morning.

Before this it was like, a manic search for the perfect morning routine; a million different practices, set-ups, sequences. I’ve learned there is no one routine you can do to make your day better. The thing is, if you don't like your days, you won't like your mornings. If you like your days, your mornings will be fine. No perfect amount of yoga, meditation - whatever - will really change that. 

Honestly, the first thing I do now is check my phone - and it’s fine. It doesn't ruin anything. If anything, it grounds me in a sense of being connected. I love what Danielle Laporte said about this:

[it] doesn’t mean that I’m a distracted workaholic, it means I’m an excited Creative who loves her friends and new friends and what she does with her day.

Waking up and checking my phone reminds me that I'm loved by people who matter. That I live in a world where things are possible. I don't feel the need to try and do anything in the morning that will make my day "better" anymore. If I have a goal now, it’s to leave the house feeling like, grounded in myself. That's all. That's good enough. 

 

Photo by Mary Assenza for The Salvage.Art by James Yeboah.